Independence

Adam Wes Namaste, everybody. Welcome. Wonderful.

This is a very special sermon. I can't believe we've had about 60 sermons, and I haven't done this one yet. It's one of my personal top five principles I live by.

So, the sermon for today is independence, specifically spiritual independence. That's what I mean by the word. This is a magic hidden jewel available to us. Oh, Daniel's here! Okay. Shh.

Spiritual independence is what brings the profound virtues: humility, love, freedom, integrity. These things rise out of the fertile soil of spiritual independence. Without spiritual independence, they're all aspirational.

Spiritual independence means that we are in touch with uncaused happiness and that we are deriving fulfillment not through circumstantial conditions, but through heart, integrity, and a knowing of the eternal self. See why it's independence? We're independent of the tethers of condition.

Does so-and-so like me? You know, all the many things, right? Dude, Kira's laughing. I like how I got Kira laughing. All the many ways: Does somebody think that...? A lot of it is very interpersonal and psychological, but it's also your relationship with yourself. All the things that ensnare us, that take us away from that utter simplicity.

There are so many things that one may want that cause a dependency. I've got to have this. I've got to have that. I've got to have all these many things. Lots of them are psychological. Some of them are habits. I've got to have a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge every morning. There are various types of dependency, and as spiritual practitioners, it is important that we move toward spiritual independence. This is the core of the practice.

It's less about getting all the things you want and more about giving away the things you want, and making sure you have the things you need, which is a much smaller subset. Lots of people are so hung up on the things they think they want.

Your body needs food and shelter, perhaps things like touch. If you don't touch anybody for three months, I'll tell you, it gets a little difficult, because our nervous system is wired a certain way, right? I don't know, have I gone for three months? I've gone for too long and isolated myself too much, to the point where I actually learned that.

There are certain things that the body needs, that the human condition and the human form need. But there are so many fewer than most of society would lead one to believe are needed. Most of the things we simply want, and what they do is cost us our spiritual independence.

If I think, "Ariella loves my beard. Ariella loves my beard," and I'm so hung up on that, then maybe one day she changes her mind. All of a sudden, I have to act a certain way, and I'm not totally free. How can one live in integrity without being inwardly free?

So we cultivate this. We look, find all the little tethers, and pull them up. Pull them out. Tether, tether, tether, tether. It's not very comfortable, by the way, because the ego wants the things it wanted. But we're becoming somebody who is energetically and habitually deeply free of all the many social entanglements. There is a lot of entanglement going on.

Spiritual independence helps us to be very loving because we've gotten in touch with that inner sufficiency, that deep sufficiency of heart. When you meditate on the heart chakra and generate love, and there's love and love and more love, the whole room fills with love. You go to the grocery store, and people feel it wafting off of you because there's so much love everywhere, divine love.

Then what could you possibly want? You're tethered to the center of the universe. You are the center of the universe, and there is this fullness overflowing within you, love as a substance.

You still need what you need. That's not even a choice, really. You need your food, and you should take care of your body and the things that one requires. But there's this sense of giving it all away because you have the thing that matters, which is love.

When we meditate, we actually sit down and cultivate independence. If you've been putting off your meditation, you haven't been sitting down and formally cultivating independence. Independence brings all the virtues.

You can be loving because you want nothing from another. You can have integrity because you cannot be exploited by another. You want nothing from them, so how could they exploit you? Exploitation always happens through some sort of, "Oh, so-and-so wants something, so I'm going to use that." That's how one gets manipulated or manipulates.

You have humility because you don't matter. What matters is the essence within all of us.

You have freedom because wherever you go, there you are. Wherever you go, you're overflowing with heart. You could be stuck in a little spaceship capsule somewhere, and it doesn't matter if you've got a ten-day journey ahead of you. You're full of heart, right?

This helps people overcome anxiety. It helps them live with freedom. It helps you untangle from manipulative, unhealthy relationships. It helps you be a better wife, husband, boyfriend, teacher, or friend.

Spiritual independence.

In this independence, there's a great deal of aloofness. You're aloof in the most loving way. You don't care. And there's this uncaused happiness.

When happiness is caused, it's not true happiness because it's concealed within a little trap. If you don't get the thing that caused it, then you lose it, and your happiness is never deeply complete. It's like peace. If peace is super conditional or super tenuous, then one doesn't really feel at peace because they could lose it at any moment, right?

When our happiness is caused, we feel that it's temporary and transient. But uncaused happiness is eternal and not transient. So we try to find that uncaused happiness, and we do it by giving everything away, everything we can give away.

Ultimately, we find that unchanging, immutable, unassailable center of self, which is the heart, which is the light, which is the love. That gives us the sense of invincibility. You've become invincible to time and space because you are the center in which time and space exist. So it can't touch you. You're untouchable.

You start by being untouchable with your friends. So-and-so didn't call you today. Whatever, right? It doesn't matter. You didn't get the ice cream flavor you wanted at the grocery store. So what? It doesn't matter. There are all kinds of things one can give away and become untouchable.

When you look at the saints and the prophets, you can see this quality in them. Think about your archetypal saint. They have this quality, right? They're untouchable, of course. They're completely uncaused happiness, of course.

A lot of times, people don't realize where the virtue comes from. They're like, "Wow, they're just courageous." No, the virtue comes from the fact that they've cultivated, or somehow come across, this deep sense of independence.

So we face our attachments and learn to stand alone.

Somebody took a picture of me on the beach once. It was December and windy, and nobody was there. It was me in the distance with the waves and a blanket. I think it's a nice image that I like because it feels like I'm standing alone until loneliness turns into divine aloneness.

Loneliness is the feeling when all those attachments are being pulled out, like waxing your hair. It doesn't feel good, but once it's done, it's all silky smooth. Right, Daniel?

Independence also helps you have a sense of humor. All kinds of wonderful virtues come from it.

Let's see, have I covered most of the things?

Meditation is the ultimate independence. There's something deeply existential and philosophical about it, right? We want to become so independent that we accept Dharma. We accept our destiny. We see ourselves as something outside of time. Time is happening to us, but we are not time.

You can take it to the level of full Sahaja Samadhi enlightenment, Ramana Maharshi style or Osho style. Completely enlightened individuals have this untouchability, this aloofness within them. It comes from meditating so deeply that they know who they are. They know the self.

Brahman becomes Atman. Atman becomes Brahman. They merge into the super-soul of the universe and see and recognize themselves as that.

Initially, we start with little things. How can you actually practice this? I don't know if you can go and do a complete kensho into the super-soul tomorrow. You might. But in the meantime, you can look at all your attachments and say, "Meh, I don't need that. I'd rather have the freedom. Oh, I don't need that. I'd rather have the independence. Oh, I don't need that."

You start to feel yourself getting strong, and it's kind of fun. As far as playing that beautiful song in the beginning, that's what the song feels like. You're just completely radiant and free. It's a wonderful cultivation.

You'll look around society and recognize that most people aren't going this way. They have needs. My needs, right? Get rid of your needs. Most needs are not needs. Food is needed. Children need... You guys know what I'm talking about.

How many people are walking around saying, "Okay, so-and-so doesn't find me attractive. So what? I don't care. I don't need to be that. I need to be free"?

There are so many examples.

How do we move through it? You might say, "Well, I ignored the attachment, and I don't feel free at all. I feel horrible. I'm thinking about it all the time, and I feel bad. My energy is all thrown off, and I feel tight."

What do you do? You sit down and go into light. You transmute that habitual, energetic response, and you generate love. When there's so much love, you say, "Oh, yeah. Why did I care about that? It didn't matter."

That's the practice. We do this month after month, year after year, decade after decade, until we stand at the center of the universe completely untouchable.

We go to the center of the wheel. The wheel is turning. If you're on the outside, you're hitting the ground every five seconds. You're getting flopped around, messed around, and tumbled around like you're in a big wave while surfing. But if you go to the center, everything just goes around you, and you're peaceful and quiet.

So, spiritual independence.

Then there's circumstantial independence, which is somewhat related. When we're dependent on others for things we need, it can interfere with our spiritual independence. So we also value our circumstantial independence.

If you require somebody's companionship, if you require a warm puppy, which happens, right? You're like, "I need a warm puppy." It can be very healing, and it's not something to avoid altogether. But if you require financial assistance, or if you require that your boss doesn't fire you, all of these things create a lack of independence.

One reason I love entrepreneurship is that it's a cultivation of independence. One reason I love solitude is the same. There are so many outer expressions that cultivate circumstantial independence and allow us to live with more integrity. We have less of the tyranny of life, of being controlled and always tiptoeing.

You don't want to upset your boss. You don't want to upset so-and-so because you need something from them. It starts to seep into the purity of one's psyche, one's practice, and one's complete commitment to spiritual independence.

You don't have to commit to it completely. You can try a little bit. "I'm going to get 20 percent more spiritual independence. How is that going to feel?" If it feels intimidating, try it a little bit. See what the freedom feels like.

It's good to cultivate circumstantial independence. That's a very big part of the practice as well.

We've figured out how not to spend money in a way that creates dependence. If you're addicted to spending money, and you have to have a new car every year, you suddenly ensnare yourself in dependence around making money in ways that corrupt your integrity or prevent your practice, or whatever it might be. Then that car really wasn't worth it.

But you can have the flying car after you have enough money that it doesn't interfere. Only after, right? Because that's not what matters. What matters is spiritual independence. That's what matters most. Then all the rest comes as a part of love moving through life and through time.

I'm so glad I got to speak to everybody about that. I've been contemplating this for about ten years. More than ten now. This is a very core part of the practice.

I like to have Sangha and friends. We can think about it, talk about it, practice it, and help support each other in the practice. Be in touch with each other. Support each other. Ask your friend or family member, "Is that spiritual independence?"

Sometimes it's a weaning process, so don't necessarily be hard on yourself. You can do it over a few years. You build your life that way.

That's a principle that matters. Remember principles and values, right? Principles are the way we do things, the principles by which we approach all the myriad circumstances that we encounter. Approach everyone with, "What's the way of spiritual independence?"

Thank you. Any questions?

I get so happy when I talk about these things.

Daniel V Not a question, but just thanking you again. What you said rang a bell with me because I've been having problems getting back to meditation. Again, thank you, because the way you talked today, I feel like you used exactly the right words to say everything that you wanted to say.

Adam Wes Thank you.

Daniel V It was very moving, very beautiful.

Adam Wes Thank you, Daniel. We're talking about love here. It's moving, beautiful, and sweet.

Usually, when you think of independence, it's kind of hard, right? It's cold and hard. But really, independence is the way that we love.

If you really want to love to the point where you want nothing of anybody and nothing of anything, you just are love. You accept, you flow, and you move with the blessings of life in a graceful, blessed gratitude. This is a part of it. You have to have the independence.

It's very Buddhist too, by the way. In Buddhism, the Four Noble Truths say attachment causes suffering. Detachment and independence cause something better.

Ariella, hi!

AriellaShira L Hi. Can we sort of self-evaluate what degree of spiritual independence we have? Do I have 25 percent, or...?

Adam Wes I made a spiritual independence calculator. No, I'm just kidding. I should do that, though. It's like, "22.5 percent. You've got to work on this, Ariella."

I think we can absolutely evaluate ourselves by looking and seeing when we put our power outside of ourselves. Look at when your power, your ability to stand alone and free and live as who you want to be, is infringed upon by certain dependencies you have.

Usually, they're psychological. If you see something that bothers you, or if you don't feel free, take a look at it.

One of the best ways, the greatest calculator for spiritual independence, is meditation. In meditation, we get still enough that we don't look through our dependency. We can see it from a bird's-eye view, outside our dependency.

The reason meditation helps us is that your mind gets so still that you don't think from the commotion of the mind. The convoluted mind has a very difficult time seeing itself. But when it gets still, we can see ourselves. We can see the subtle movements, the intentions, the pulls, the pushes, the manipulations, and the desires.

Desire is a big part of this, right? We're trying to let go of desires. It's so nuanced when I say desire, by the way, because there are good desires, the ones that are true to your heart and soul, and then there are desires that are just bad habits and accumulations.

So meditate and observe. When do you feel a dependency of some kind? It's independence and dependence.

There's also interdependence. When we're independent, what brings us together is something greater than ourselves, not a mutual insufficiency, manipulation, exploitation, or completion of each other.

Two whole people come together and say, "Let's make that in the world, in service to humanity, as a true expression of what I am, of my integrity, my freedom, and my honesty." Then we come together, and our relationships are deeply meaningful because they're not filling a hole. They're expressing our love and our purpose in life, in time and space.

Study this, write about it, and think about it. You'll be able to assess and find the places.

AriellaShira L Do you think that the new wave of children who are coming are coming to teach us this?

Adam Wes I absolutely think that the children you've been speaking of, from what you've told me about them, are very much inwardly free because they've made contact with the inner sufficiency of love, wholeness, and light. That makes them independent, strong, and virtuous.

So, absolutely. You should talk to them about it.

AriellaShira L Gosh.

Adam Wes Do it. Thank you, Ariella.

If anybody wants to add anything, I could have missed something. Kira, do you have anything to add?

Kira I was just doing some self-observation in one of my relationships. I notice instances where I need to ask that person, "Can you be this way instead of this way?" I recognize how that's not independence.

On the other side of it, I've also had glimmers where I don't need that. I'm just like, "Go ahead. Do you. Do whatever you're going to do. It doesn't matter to me."

I think this is a good litmus test for us. It does require some conscious awareness on our part to be able to recognize those moments and maybe soften into not needing.

Adam Wes It's interesting. This doesn't necessarily mean that, when you're in a relationship, your freedom pushes everything apart. Independence brings us together, but it also pushes some relationships apart because two people might be very different, or might not need to be in the same place at that moment. Certain aspects of that relationship might not be the whole relationship.

If we're both independent, we might recognize the Dharma, the duty, and the truth of the fact that we're actually not supposed to be pulling toward each other. It's like two sides of a magnet are pushing, but other sides are not pushing.

Independence allows the synchronicity of relationships to develop in freedom and the expressions of those relationships to unfold in freedom. It's not necessarily an all-or-nothing thing.

Sometimes a relationship might have a weekly cadence as opposed to a daily cadence, or it might have certain kinds of activities that one shares.

The reason I'm saying this is that you made me think of something. Sometimes needing the relationship to be in a certain way, with conditions, is a form of integrity.

I'm not going to hang out with people who are all deeply dependent and say, "Oh, well, you can be dependent." They can be dependent, but if I'm around them, I might start to pick that up psychically. I'm not going to tell them all not to be dependent. I'll just walk somewhere else where people are being independent or are aspiring to independence.

It allows you to walk away from bad situations and walk toward good situations, which a lot of people could really use. It's one of the hardest things, especially in romantic relationships.

Kira What happens if you're stuck in a car with somebody and you can't walk away? You're in the middle of traffic. This actually happened. This truly happened.

Adam Wes It's funny you say this. You have to recognize that part of planning ahead means saying, "Okay, I'm going to be in a car with someone. Do I really want to go on a road trip in a two-seater with somebody who is going to be acting a certain way?"

Maybe you rent the big car so you can sit in the back with your headphones on. Maybe you take the train and go to another part. Maybe you just meet there. These things are considerations. These are the types of considerations.

If you find yourself in a bad situation, it's always good to have some selenite, some nice Apple earbuds, a lot of music available, an extra phone charger in case you run out and don't have your music, and a nice book to read and focus on that feels aligned with you. I do all of those things because you do find yourself in those situations.

Yeah, the starter kit.

I have some beautiful plants at home that can hold the wavelength for you. Just focus on the plant. Have a couple of spiritual recordings you can listen to.

People may make demands of you and have expectations of you. This is key, and I'll end on this: If you have expectations of others, others tend to have expectations of you.

If others make demands on your time, generally that develops because there's a mutual, "You scratch my back, I scratch yours." There's a mutual exchange going on that goes without saying, and it can get very messy.

It's better to say, "I don't expect anything of you."

Then, when people start expecting you to do things, you don't have to comply. For example, I don't like to shake people's hands. It feels too businesslike for me. So I don't shake people's hands. I do this.

I can't tell you how many times people's hands have been out like this. Sometimes, if I don't want people to feel bad and I can tell it's going to upset them, I say, "Excuse my eccentricity. I'd just rather bow." Or, if I feel open to giving them a hug instead, I give them a hard side hug. I'd much prefer that to a handshake in most cases.

How could one do that? It's because I don't have expectations. If I were like, "Well, I really want this person to like me," then I probably should shake their hand. It might rock the boat too much.

It's better not to care. Then you can be eccentric, be an artist, and just live.

If I shake somebody's hand, I can feel their hand on my hand for an hour. It bothers me. It's also not me being me. Why are we shaking hands? I'd rather have a society of, "Namaste, namaste, namaste."

All right, let's meditate. Hi, Mom. Let's play that song again.

The energetics of the meditation are focused on the heart.

You meditate on your heart. You focus on the spot. You may feel it very little. You may feel it a lot. By focusing there, we generate heart chakra chi.

Anahata, the kundalini, generates around the heart. It feels warm and fuzzy, and the warmer it gets, the more centered you feel.

Feel your heart. We're just going to generate love, generate heart energy. Let's do it together because all of us can really build it together. This is part of Sangha. We reinforce each other.

Yay! I'm excited.

It's right in the center of the chest. It's like a pinpoint, and there's a little vortex around it. Heat will start to grow throughout your chest and outside your body too, if you want. That is good.

One way to generate this feeling is to focus on warmth there. If you get distracted, bring your attention back to the heart. Every time the mind wanders, bring it back.

It's a positive-focus meditation. Don't worry about not thinking. Just focus on the heart. Use the light if you can.

Keep bringing your attention back, accumulating the chi. It's not an immediate thing. It's like filling a bucket with water. Bring your heart into light. It helps.

If you're not feeling energy, even a very crude focus on that center can help. Just feel the skin there. It helps you move your sense of existence and awaken the energy in the center of the heart.

It changes your posture. Usually, we're too much in the head. Just feel the spot with sustained focus. It really does generally produce transformation.

Be a lionheart.

What if the solution wasn't in the mental formations and ideas, but simply an energetic shift? Energy in the heart somewhere. Just feel one's heart activating.

I have a big heart, a full heart, a pure heart, a warm heart.

Then let everything respond as an expression of that energetic state.

Take a moment to observe the eternal center of the here and now, and feel the sufficiency of the energetic state of an active, warm, radiant heart.

Namaste.

Oh, that was nice. My hand was melting into my chest on the astral plane.

I wanted to add that innocence, righteousness, and purity are virtues that rise out of this independence. To want nothing from another is a very innocent state. There are no agendas, motives, or all of that. It's just goodness, right? It's very special.

Mom, you look so pretty. Doesn't she look pretty, everybody? Look at that hair.

Colleen Gross. Let somebody else talk.

Adam Wes No.

Colleen Spiritually independently.

Adam Wes Pass? Okay, if you want to.

Colleen Thank you, Adam. Namaste.

Adam Wes Ariella, how about you? You have to unmute. The internet machine.

AriellaShira L There we go. In the beginning, it was wonderful. I was able to focus on my heart and just experience light. Then I don't know what happened, but I wasn't conscious of myself anymore. When I eventually became conscious, my head was down.

Adam Wes Namaste, Dad. Thank you.

I want to say one more thing before everybody leaves. Is that okay, Ariella?

There's a very important part of the sermon that I left out, which is Svadharma. One of the most powerful ways to develop independence is to have an autotelic personal creative activity.

For me, it's mathematics. It could be music. It could be dance. It could be anything that you do and feel complete when you do it independently. It means that you can spend a whole day by yourself mastering something, doing martial arts, writing poetry, or doing any of the many things that a human being can master.

Autotelic means doing it for its own sake. That brings a degree of independence.

Thank you. All right, Ariella, sorry. I just wanted to say that before Kira and my dad left.

So, you went into the nothingness.

AriellaShira L Yes. Did other people see my head go down?

Adam Wes I didn't notice.

AriellaShira L That hasn't happened before, as far as I'm aware.

Adam Wes Say it again. Your head went down, and then what happened?

AriellaShira L As I came back into the light, I noticed my head was down, and I was able to lift it up again.

Adam Wes That's so interesting. You said, "As I came back into the light." You were in the nothingness, and then you went into the light.

You should look up satori, S-A-T-O-R-I, and kensho, K-E-N-S-H-O. They're Japanese words. They might help you understand your experiences. I think you might be having those.

I'm listening to how you describe things. She said she came back into the light, which is a very profound thing to say. She was in nothingness, and then she came into the light, the first substratum of existence from nonexistence. That's what it sounds like she's talking about.

I think you're probably doing it. You're quite a magical being, so I wouldn't be surprised.

AriellaShira L Thank you.

Adam Wes You're welcome. Namaste.

I want to tell everybody that there's a practice page for all of this. Daniel, I don't think you ever saw it. It's our own personal page. It's not hosted anywhere, and I made sure that Google doesn't crawl it. It's a page for us where all these recordings are, along with practice guides and study materials.

Let me put it in the chat for you guys. After every session, these recordings are processed, and we get a beautiful Sangha page with all kinds of lovely details.

It's in the chat. Make sure to click it: BhaktiMathGuru.com/lovelightsanga. There's no link to it, and only we see it. There's really great content on there for practicing this. You can go on there and practice everything we talked about.

These things need to be revisited. I practiced this by meeting with the teacher over and over again and discussing it over and over again. We have one time a week, so it's good to have a page like that.

All right, everybody. Thank you so much. Does anybody have a burning desire to share, or are we good?

Okay, cool. I'm so glad to see you again, Daniel and David. It really makes a difference when you're here. It's so great to have you here, and I hope you're benefiting from it as much as I feel I am from your presence. It's really wonderful.

Kira, yay! And you too, Kira. Look at that face. That's a bright sprite there.

Bye, Mom. Bye, everybody. Love you. See you.

David P Bye, guys. Thank you.

Adam Wes You're welcome.

Spiritual independence arises through releasing unnecessary attachments, cultivating inner sufficiency, and returning through meditation to the heart, the light, and the love within.

• Spiritual independence is the fertile soil of humility, love, freedom, integrity, innocence, and purity.
• Uncaused happiness does not depend on changing circumstances or getting what one wants.
• Many apparent needs are desires, habits, psychological dependencies, or social entanglements.
• The practice involves finding the little tethers and pulling them out, while continuing to care for the genuine needs of the body and human condition.
• Meditation cultivates independence by stilling the mind and revealing subtle intentions, pulls, pushes, manipulations, and desires.
• Generating love in the heart reveals a deep inner sufficiency and makes it possible to want nothing from another.
• Circumstantial independence supports integrity by reducing dependencies that lead to control, exploitation, or compromise.
• Independence allows people to walk away from unhealthy situations and let relationships unfold in freedom.
• Interdependence brings whole people together through love, purpose, and service rather than mutual insufficiency.
• An autotelic creative activity can support independence by offering completeness in an activity done for its own sake.

Notice the attachments and dependencies that place power outside yourself. Sit in meditation, bring sustained attention to the center of the heart, generate warmth and love, and allow that inner sufficiency to loosen what is not truly needed.

• Awareness of the difference between genuine needs and accumulated wants.
• Moments when approval, companionship, money, expectations, or habits interfere with freedom and integrity.
• Stillness in meditation that makes subtle desires and dependencies easier to see.
• Sustained attention to the center of the chest, returning there when the mind wanders.
• The warmth, light, love, and sufficiency of an active heart.
• Relationships that express freedom and purpose rather than manipulation or completion.
• Creative activity done for its own sake, without needing an external result.

• Where do I notice my power being placed outside myself?
• What can I release because I would rather have freedom?
• What becomes clear when I return my attention to the heart?